What Would I Do If I Was Picked To Host "Saturday Night Live"?

I am starting to rack up a lot of performance art dances. Much more performance art dances than even those contestants I saw lining up today at McCormick Place to audition for "America's Got Talent." 69 dances, I guess. Most of my performance art dances were with my indie bands that I truly adore...Pedway, Whitewolf and Sonic Princess, and Labrador Dali. And Missy Galore's performance art dance antics inspired me to imaging hosting this show. I was a fan of this show in the 1990s....mainly because of the live band.

Very plainly, I am going to make my own script. As a very versatile dancer, I will do a very strong flourish out from the center aisle on where the Saturday Night Live band is playing. Then as I burst out to finish my dance stage bottom center (remember all of this stagecraft lingo?).

In my monologue, I would very likely pay my homage to Sandra Bernhard by perhaps putting on my wig, and do a rather funny "dance" version of "Fever", with the band trumpeter playing out the melody. "Fever" would call for a lot of hip swings reminiscent of belly dancing, so I will try...even if I am not perfect. The end of the monologue will likely then switch to another homage of mine...Debbie Allen. Debbie Allen is very, very real in the dance world. I am going to try to imitate Debbie Allen's dance movements when the SNL band does "Gotta Be Real" (originally sung by Cheryl Lynn). Yea, that disco-soul number known for the "Da...da da....da da....DA, DA, DA" rhythm riff in the chorus.

In the skits (which will likely be a-la-Tony-Orlando-and-Dawn style of skits), I would likely act a woman in one scene, do a burlesque dance in a bar, and a do a cha-cha dance in a ballroom dance skit.

Well, suppose the musical guests on SNL are the Ting Tings. I had saw the Ting Tings at the 2007 Lollapalooza. I liked their music. I know that SNL's musical guests perform one selection, and then, after some skits and more monologues, another musical selection. I would feature myself as a guest performance art dancer as the band performs, and try to dance in the style of Beyonce, but a little crazy something from Beyonce. You probably know that Beyonce and her band was on SNL with their smash hit "Single Ladies". The most memorable part was the ending of the song when Beyonce does a pose in front of the loud drumset. But when the Tings perform, this will be different. I know the Ting Tings do indie dance-techno, so that means straight 4/4 in a style of a Euro dance groove.

In my final words before the credits roll, what would I say? I would say, "Thank you all, good night...for me, The Little Lily of Dancing....has spoken!"

Well, this may not be my ultimate fantasy, but, as a blogger, I am doing this for me.......